The Grey Area Living

by | Dec 1, 2021 | Love & Relationships

I really want to talk about something Iโ€™m calling, ๐—š๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜† ๐—”๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ ๐—Ÿ๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด โ€” the space between โ€œrock bottom/itโ€™s not that badโ€ (settling for What-is, because itโ€™s been so hard in the past or feels impossible to change) & the feeling of true Success and bliss that only comes with a mind that is Free from the chains of an addictive substance (and this applies to being stuck in love, stuck in business or stuck in substance).

Iโ€™m really fascinated with all that Iโ€™m learning this year and Iโ€™ve been walking this out with other friends that have been questioning their own relationship with drinking & habits. Iโ€™d never claim to know it all, but Iโ€™ve seen so many people floating in this ๐—š๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐˜† ๐—”๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฎ (a confusing place between stuck, settling & surviving and True Thriving).

The question is not โ€” do I drink too much? but rather, could I stand to drink a little less?

๐—ง๐—ต๐—ถ๐˜€ ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ป๐—ธ๐˜€๐—ด๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด ๐—œ ๐—ต๐—ฎ๐—ฑ ๐˜๐—ผ ๐—ฟ๐—ฒ๐—ฝ๐—น๐—ฎ๐—ฐ๐—ฒ ๐—–๐—ฟ๐—ฎ๐˜ƒ๐—ถ๐—ป๐—ด๐˜€ ๐˜„๐—ถ๐˜๐—ต ๐—–๐˜‚๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐—ผ๐˜€๐—ถ๐˜๐˜†.

As soon as last year, it was so natural, with a room full of family, friends, food and fun, that MY wine would be flowing.

Celebrations & alcohol were sisters and always a part of my party.ย 

This year was quite different as far as behavior โ€” I still chose not to drink wine โ€” BUT the thoughts and cravings were certainly there.

So interesting.

I totally had a โ€œStoryโ€ around My wine, and I have believed it like I believed the sky was blue:ย  ย 

Wine is amazing with turkey. Wine is amazing PERIOD!! & this wonโ€™t be as much fun if I donโ€™t drink.

This has always felt true, but this year I really questioned, without judgment, why I believed that.

Auto answer from any smart person: โ€œwait, youโ€™re fun, you can take it or leave itโ€.ย  But I came to know that wasnโ€™t true.ย  I wanted it, and I if Iโ€™m honest, Iโ€™ve felt a little helpless and weak.

Instead of asking myself AGAIN, โ€œwhy canโ€™t you just stop (drinking wine)?โ€, I applauded my brain for actually responding the way itโ€™s supposed to.

Even smart & discerning people want what they want, so why would this time be any different.

The biggest game-changer is when a person can put down the weapons of blame and shame against themselves. And just imagine releasing any pressure of โ€œI canโ€™t, or I shouldnโ€™tโ€ have these thoughts or cravings.

So, this may bug a few people, but mostly everything we think weโ€™ve learned about how to have Lasting Change is flawed.

We believe Jan. 1st, Iโ€™m going to hit the gym, put down the drink, quit sugar, start X and quit Y so I can have Z.

Sound familiar?

And, sure, that plan is do-ableโ€ฆbut only for a small window of time.

There is more to the puzzle of sustaining our great intentions.

Starting with Action is only a small piece of the puzzle.ย  And most resolutions, although well intended, are quit and forgotten by about Jan. 19.

Update:ย  If youโ€™re reading this and Dry January wasnโ€™t your Jam or youโ€™re curious to learn how to quiet the voice that pulls you into eating or drinking (what you ultimately know doesnโ€™t work for you), this is where everything changed for me. I was finally able to release the hold alcohol had on me.

In my New ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ program beginning March 7th, Iโ€™m going to bring in the other 2 essential pieces that can forever shift your relationship with alcohol (or insert habit here ____) .ย  I have found it most beneficial to think of this as an experiment and finally releasing the pressure I kept putting on myself to change โ€ฆand find the true path to lasting change.

It might surprise you to know that the goal in this program is NOT sobriety or quitting alcohol or depriving you of anything โ€ฆ the goal is Awareness & what looks healthy for each individual on their own path.

Youโ€™re a smart woman!ย  And this describes many of the most beautiful & professional people that I work with:ย  so smart, so capable, so able to run a business, run their life and look amazing on the outside, but on the inside theyโ€™re confused, frustrated and even slowly crumbling because of โ€œthis one thingโ€ โ€”whatever that is for youโ€”ย  keeping them in a perpetual start-stop-stuck habitual loop.

Imagine being able to hit the delete button on the Desire to even do the things that hold us back (thatโ€™s key) and insert a plan for change that makes you feel Free and more in control.

March 7 is just over a month away and Iโ€™m beyond excited for a new year and those who have messaged me already if you would like to receive an email invitation to learn more about ๐—ง๐—ต๐—ฟ๐—ถ๐˜ƒ๐—ฒ, my small, private group, 6-week program, send me a PM or click the connect with me button and weโ€™ll go from there.


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Hey, there!

I’m Shelley, a business woman, a mom and a certified coach with This Naked Mind, providing a new way to look at sustainable behavior change when it comes to controlling food and/or alcohol that is both understandable and achievable.




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